I remember driving through the countryside in Ireland (oh, to travel to beautiful faraway places again…) and seeing field after field of tilled earth. The rich black soil was studded by white and gray stones, but the biggest rocks had been rolled to the edges and formed into fences and barriers, neatly demarcating the squares. I wondered at the amount of work it must have taken to move those stones before modern machinery existed – a labor of love undertaken for the earth to be able to produce bountifully.
I thought about those fields when reading about Jesus telling the parable of the sower.* I want to be good soil, but these days I identify much more with the rocky ground, feeling very aware of the hard spots in my soul: the “I’m better than you” rock, the “I do NOT have time for this” rock, the “Look at me!” rock. Recently, the “Why bother?” rock seems to have grown larger and heavier, what with the evil and suffering on a scale that make any effort towards love or good that one might muster seem laughable in comparison.
I’m well aware of these rocks (though surely others are hidden from my sight underground) but some days I can forget about them. As with the rocky soil in the parable, there are moments of real joy and energy in my relationship with Jesus, and things look fruitful for a while. But then the next crisis arises, and quickly the heat becomes too much to bear. The joy withers, and instead of a bountiful harvest of love, I’m left to reap disappointment — once again reminded that this is all that rocky soil has to give.
If I want to have the roots that will sustain me during the hard times, I’ve got to move some of these rocks out of the way. It’s hard, heavy work. There are times in my life that spiritual disciplines have been joyful practice, but right now, rolling boulders feels like an apt metaphor.
Even so, I pray to keep at it. Who knows what the Great Gardener will be planting next season? I want to be ready.
–Erica Lloyd, Seekers Church
- What are the rocks you need to roll out of the way?
- Who might help with that?
- What is being sown in your life?
