“Is it possible to have a call – a wake-up experience – at a very young age?”
The question came in the chat box on a Zoom retreat that I was leading. “Yes,” I said, “I think children do have these experiences, but usually don’t have language for them.” And I went on with my talk about the spiral of call.
Something about the question stayed with me though. I remember times when the world shimmered with light and everything seemed alive, connected and whole. My hands start to warm as other unitive images arise: cosmic explosions, phosphorescence in the water, northern lights pulsing in the night sky. All signs to me that we are an integral part of a living universe – the very body of God. Mystics call it unitive consciousness, out beyond our habits of digital thinking. To me, it’s timeless wonder.
Later, I spoke with the questioner. After some background, she asked the question she is carrying now: “I wonder if I am living a life worthy of that call?”
It’s a question the disciples must have asked themselves – especially Peter, James and John in the lectionary text for this week.* On a mountain-top with Jesus, they are dazzled by a vision of Jesus with the other greats of their faith, Moses and Elijah. Suddenly timeless, they are wrapped in glory and hear the words “This is my beloved son. Listen to him.”
It’s easy to smile at Peter, the impetuous one, who wants to build a shelter, contain the vision and keep it there, but I have to confess that I do the same with my journal. I write to describe those moments of unitive consciousness in order to hold onto them. But the truth is memory floods my body with the whole experience while my words look dry on the page. Words take me there, but the essence is whole and holy. And the impulse to hold onto that experience is, at the heart, our yearning for God.
Am I living a life worthy of God’s call? Rather than a judgment, I now hear it as a sacred question to ask in a time of transition, guiding us toward the next right thing.
–Marjory Zoet Bankson, Editor of InwardOutward.org
