This morning, we closed the last circle gathering of the silent weekend retreat at Dayspring by breaking bread, drinking the cup and passing the peace. We served one another, affirming the beloved identity of each one and offering the cup of love, the cup of life. I remembered Jesus’ question to James and John, “Are you able to drink the cup that I drink?” Though my cup was overflowing with love given and received, I had to wonder when, if ever, I would be able to answer Jesus’ question with an unreserved yes.
I want to. It’s one of the reasons I go on retreat. To offer my deeps in the silence to be “remolded” and, as the old hymn continues, “made divine.” Jesus told the disciples they were able follow his way. He said they were empowered to love and heal and do even greater things than he did. Yet can I… drink his cup? Drink the cup that he drank?*
That cup is full of joyful ongoing communion with the wondrous, Source of life. That cup is full of total obedience to God’s mysterious will. That cup is full of unfettered resistance to cultural norms and courageous confrontation of the dominating powers of the ruling empire. That cup is full of suffering and sacrificial death. I am still not able to drink that cup. Not to the bottom anyway.
So I left the Lodge of the Carpenter today with reinvigorated desire to honestly live with the questions of what drinking his cup means for my life. I know there are other ways to look at his question and other ways to receive the cup at the communion table. It is a gift for sure. Today though the invitation grabbing a hold of me is to take Jesus’ question literally and seriously. “Are you able?” What next steps are needed to be able to drink the cup that Jesus drank? What does it look like, taste like? What are its contents exactly? I remember he asked that the cup be taken away.
When we passed the peace this morning I was also wondering if we were able to pass his peace. Jesus promised the gift of his peace and encouragement: don’t let your heart be troubled, don’t be afraid. In amazement, I realized it was his peace in that blessed room. And that profound peace moved from each one to each one to each one. With the reality of that experience, the limitless flow of his unfathomable peace being realized this very day, I can live with the cup questions in hope.
For now, what I am able to do is hold the cup, and the desire to drink from it, trusting the Spirit will deepen my availability and stretch my capacity for transformation. For becoming love poured out.
*Mark 10:35-45
-Ann Dean, Dayspring Mission Group
Reflection Questions
- Has your experience of drinking from the communion cup changed over the years?
- Is your experience of drinking the cup on retreat any different?
- What new sense of invitation might there be for you to drink the cup that Jesus drank, in your life today?
