Some of the people I enjoy following on social media are former students of mine who write passionately and eloquently about the theological and ethical issues at the heart of our country’s divisions over abortion, same-sex marriage, and racism, among other things. I am frequently in awe of the beauty and clarity of their writing, jealously wishing that I had been able to come up with this or that clever turn of phrase, perfect example, or apt quotation from some ancient authority. Then, at their next post, I am shaking my head with dismay over the same person’s inexplicable interest in the relative merits of various sports teams, where to obtain some obscure brand of beer, or some other idiosyncratic enthusiasm that I too easily judge as immature, frivolous, or just plain wrongheaded.
Like the Pharisee* who gives thanks for not being like thieves, rogues, and adulterers, it is all too easy for me to compare myself to others, to feel superior in my choices and secure in my spirituality. Or, in another mood, I can revel in being the best at feeling bad, beating myself up because I am less loving, less perceptive, less generous than the people that I see around me. Whether I think that I am better than the person whose choices make me roll my eyes, or am filled with envy because I do not have the gifts, graces, and talents that I see in someone else, I am too rarely at peace in myself.
How can I stop judging and comparing? How can I come to see the truth about myself and about others? How can I remember to look for points of connection, for ways that the stories of others are similar to mine? How can I see both others and myself with love and compassion? For it is only when I look honestly and fearlessly at myself and at others—in all of our glory and all of our oddness—that I can see us all as both fully human and fully divine.
–Deborah Sokolove, Seekers Church
