112th century mosaic of the Temptations of Jesus in the Wilderness, Basilica San Marco, Venice
If someone said to me “you are my beloved, and I am very happy with you,” I would be pretty angry if five minutes later that same person would leave me in the middle of the desert with nothing to eat and no one to talk to.* I would be all too happy to listen to that inner demon who seems to show up about five minutes after something really good happens in my life, sabotaging my joy with stories about how someone has done me wrong. The demon whispers seductively, “You, have been betrayed, you are misunderstood, you have been abandoned, you have a right to your rage.” And, too often, I fall for it, over and over again.
Somehow, in my pain and self-pity, I manage not to notice the angels who are hanging around, wanting to take care of me. Even when I push them away, my better angels keep reminding me that even the bleakest desert can be beautiful, that grief and loss can be the road to compassion for both self and others, that silence and solitude can be the pathway to wholeness. Finally, when I am done with weeping, I am ready to walk out of the wilderness. When I am willing to repent and hear the good news, I discover that I have always been in the loving heart of God.
What stories do your inner demons tell you about yourself? What do they tell you about God? What do your better angels say?
--Deborah Sokolove, Seekers Church
For More...
For more reflection on deserts, demons, and love, read this story by Rev Dawn Hutchinson.
