Jesus began his public ministry by healing and casting out demons everywhere he went. And although this was not unusual for prophets and healers of his day, for some reason people didn’t know what to make of him.
When I read the gospel reading for this week*, I was struck by the parallels between what so many in the LGBTQ+ community have suffered and how Jesus is treated in this passage. Religious authorities profoundly misunderstood him and the way he loved, calling him evil, unclean. His family is embarrassed; they want to pull him back from the spectacle they think he is making of himself, of them.
Maybe it was just the coincidence of hearing from a friend how much she loved Great Believers, a beautifully written novel I had recommended about the gay community in Chicago during the AIDS crisis; watching clips of actor Billy Porter’s recent interview; having a conversation with my best friend about how she continues to grapple with the loss of spiritual community she has experienced since coming out.
In the early 1980s, queer people ostracized from their families of origin popularized the idea of chosen families, friendships in which the deep intimacy, commitment, and responsibility of care elevated those relationships to a kind of family. These relationships became even more important as the AIDS crisis escalated; when biological relatives failed to care for people living with HIV, friends stepped in. “Chosen family” gave language to the innate human capacity to create and nourish ties that bind us together.
Likewise, Jesus turned to those who understood him and said, “This is my family.” He rejected the attempts to demonize and silence him, and in doing so called forth his people: sister, brother! These words have been part of the Christian vocabulary of community ever since. And indeed, the church at its best can be a chosen family: the deep intimacy, commitment, and responsibility to care for one another are part of our call. As family, we make sure each other’s needs, emotional and physical alike, are met. We celebrate milestones together; we wash dishes together. We are devoted to the work of helping our family members grow in to the people they – and we – are meant to be.
–Erica Lloyd, Seekers Church
Questions for reflection:
- Do you have people that you consider “chosen family”? What distinguishes them from friends and neighbors?
- In what ways does your church community look like family? Where does it have room to grow?
