John 10:11-18 I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me….
Being known as we are can be wonderful and terrifying too. It fulfills our longing to have a safe place where we don’t have to play games or be stronger or wiser than we truly are. But being known that way can also trigger shame or guilt because we don’t live up to the idealized image of who we think we ought to be. Instead, we settle for surface politeness and feel vaguely disconnected as a result.
The intimacy suggested by this relationship between the good shepherd and his sheep may seem foreign to modern city-dwellers, until we look around at the local coffee shop or gym and see how many people cluster together rather than staying in their own apartments. We are hungry for companionship, albeit without commitment. But Jesus invites us to something more, something deeper than just being part of a flock. He’s inviting us to real relationship, to knowing and being known.
Jesus assures us that he is the “good shepherd,” one who loves his sheep unreservedly. In the orbit of that love, we can be known without fear – because there is nothing to prove, nothing to earn. We are freed from another’s expectations in order to be who we truly are. We can drop our ego defenses and confess our longings. We can listen for guidance and let love in. Being known that way is the basis for trust and love to flow freely, back and forth. The good news is that we can choose into those relationships, with God and with each other.
Recently, I suggested to a friend that she address her prayers to “You,” instead of “Our Father.” She was surprised at the result. “I feel God is so much closer now,” she said, “and I never would have thought to do that.” Now she can have what the Jewish philosopher, Martin Buber, called an I-Thou relationship with God. It creates a larger and, at the same time, a more intimate field for knowing and being known.
In my daily life, I reach for that relationship of honest self-disclosure in my mission group, where I confess my fears and name my hopes with the expectation that we can be real and honest with each other. That, to me, is the ground-work of loving one another as we are.
- Where do you feel known and loved?
- Who has made a commitment to shepherd a group you are in?
- How might you offer spiritual companionship to someone else?
– Marjory Bankson
